忘れないよ

いろいろ思い出した。

一年間は充実に過ごして、振り返って本当にいろいろあったね。。（＾o＾）

いつか分かれ道がくる、いつか。もう、来たか??!

４階の姫君達、忘れないよ。２階の姫君達、忘れないよ。

パーティで騒いだり、CJLCビールまで響ける笑い声、温泉旅館で日本人から「お前ら、うるさいよ！」と言われるまでの思い出、忘れないよ。

キッチンで永遠に続くようなにぎやかさ、「何作ってるの？」の掛け声、授業の後「ストーブ！！ストーブ！！空いてる？？」、晩御飯後「散歩！！散歩！！」の掛け声、いまだに耳に響く。

「元気？」

「もちろん!!!」

「ああ。。残念。。」ーー日常挨拶

「お前、死んでくれる???死んで、部屋譲ってくれよ!!」ーーアリヤ

「どいてぇぇ」－アリヤ

「やめて」（ルタアクセントで）

「どんどん買わなきゃああ～～～」（もちろんルタアクセントで）－ルタ

「何よ～～」－アアフケ

「どこ行く？」

「宝塚見に」ーアアフケ

「また？？？？」！＠＠

「わし。。。。」ーヨウちゃん

「いいよ～」－ヨウちゃん

「お前。。死ねぇええ！！！」－ヨウちゃん、アリヤ

「馬鹿！馬鹿！馬鹿！」（カメラに-_-) ーエリ

「xxをレイプしないでよ！！！」（壊さないで、触らないで、どいて。。）

日本人の知らない日本語の使い方。

こんな日本語ここしか学べないかな。

何年経っても忘れないよ。

大好きの皆、この一年間、お世話になりました。

どうか、元気で、自分らしいの道を歩んで行こうね。

また、会いましょう。

文庫本熱中症

Have been buying a lot of books. Have been buying books as if there is no tomorrow, since i will be going back soon. Rather than planning on trips, outings, i find spending quality amount of time at Book Off equally reward-able. Its either Book Off, Yahoo Auction(plenty of new release, in cheaper price!! used of course.), and not to forget dear Amazon.Since i do not own a Credit Card, payment mode is kind of restricted for some retailers(some sellers that sell through Amazon). Which turns me to Yahoo Auction. Never thought auction can be so much fun!!

I missed a very important point. The joy of being able to read, leads me to all these.

At first, i started reading Japanese vertically, page after page reluctantly, hitting my electronic dictionary endlessly as well. All contributes to my thesis. Imagine reading page after page, line after line of endless crap that bores me to hell. Which at that time, I can't get a grasp of the language, nonetheless the meaning. Have to read and reread so many times that i got so fed up with my topic.

But, But, But, after that, it was heaven. I discovered that i can read at the end!! I linger at book stores before that, but was so reluctant to pick up any books. Yes, i am just there for the atmosphere. I love MPH when i was in my primary and secondary, more than willing to spent time sitting on the floor reading, touching the glossy cover of those new expensive books, but never buying it. Why???? Expensive, and my wallet was always thin and hungry. Rather spend it on food, seriously. Which then explains my expanding body size. Lol..

Since electronic books exist. I download. Slowly, it turned me away from books, further and further away..By the time i realized, the books i read in University was countable. Shame on me.

All in all, i picked up my old hobby!!

And...share with you guys some books that i've read here.

Highly recommended NO.1:

告白　（湊　かなえ）Kokuhaku by Minato Kanae

A high school teacher's kid was found dead in the school's swimming pool. Had she drowned by accident? or was it murder on purposed. The police conclude that it was an accident. Yuuko, the mother of the dead child, as well as the class teacher of 3B, found the devastating truth. Her daughter died because of a ridiculous experimental joke. The killer sits right in her class. A and B.

However A and B showed no remorse of their act. Yuuko decides to teach them a lesson of their life. Minimal amount of blood, withdrawn from her husband, who is a AIDS carrier, was injected into their daily Milk pack. Says her. The changes in their life, the reaction of B's parents or what they call バカ親, who declared that everything B does is reasonable and victimized. The overpowering guilt felt by B, on top of the parental pressure, leads to the killing of his own mother. A on the other hand, a complete genius, self-centered and arrogant, has a twisted sight of the world. After the confession from Yuuko, he endures all the tormenting events from his classmates, kept his stand. Later part of the book revealed his thirst for motherly love, which he is willing to do anything just to win a glance from his mother whom left him when he was 7.

The structure of the story was nicely composed. Each chapter was written in a different aspect of view from the characters of the story. The movie was great, but the book is even better. But i have to say that i understand better after watching the movie. Really enjoyed reading the book, something to look forward to in my long and monotonous bus or train ride.

Highly recommended.

It actually leads me to reading other books from this writer. ^^

感动

又是台风，又是大雨

送货人员全身湿透了

还让他来回跑了两趟

从他的手上接过我的包裹

除了不停地说不好意思，还有就是深深的感动

谢谢哦。。

那一大叠漫画，我一定统统都把它看完，珍藏。

慰め

暖かい言葉と優しい笑顔で。。

明仁天皇と美智子皇后が被災地にてをさしのべた

天皇夫婦の存在や慰めが被災者たちの強い力になった

日本国民はなぜ災難を受けてもそんなに心強いにいられるなのか

それはみんなを支えてくれる政府や皇室があるなのでしょうか

復興までは時間がかかるけど、国民一心で、この日はもう遠くないと思う

病歪歪

好久没病得那么惨了

连续病了几个星期

发烧，伤风，退烧，又发烧

好了，明天又倒了。。

病到一塌糊涂还要自己去烧药

哈哈哈。。我还真的被他们他们笑掉牙了

这楼出了个每天碎碎念的的她，还有个药味很重的我，天天在那里搅那锅黑汤

很棒的魔女家族

结果这次统统都没效

越病越重

病到去医院还是头一遭

可恶的医院，

居然要收我rm200++的入门费，

这里的大医院统统都需要小医生的介绍书

没那张纸条，不用病死你，就先贵死你

黄金周我上哪儿找小医生呵？？学校校医闭关放假，周边连个诊所的影都没。。

气死我。。转头丢掉那份填好的病患资料，就这样走出门外了

出了门还真的很想哭

眼泪要往下掉时还记得提醒自己丢脸回家才丢

可恶的大学

大得可怕

找个巴士站，差不多绕了半个地球

问了n个学生

还有幸福的小孩笑嘻嘻跟我说。。。从来没搭过巴士耶

巴士站还分来回两不同站

大老远从地球另一端又走回这一段

头都快烧得冒烟了

可恶。。早知道就搭对面的地铁回家就好了

呜。。呜。。可恶。。

医生没见到，倒是中国朋友的药有效。。

半天下来烧退了一半了

头脑也清醒了

想想。。不是没有钱就不要生病

而是rm200介绍费？？不是给不起咧。。

拿了你们政府的钱，还把大半还给你们政府的医院？

医疗费我没话说。。介绍费？？？？

话说现在不是计较金钱的时候，死了半分都拿不回我也懂

但。。。。。。

想，我还有力气走下去所以才酱爽快转头走人吧

再想，大难不死必有后福

哈哈哈

想到就开心

梦

the second/third time??

it had always started at a place near river or the sea or even at the swimming pool..

this time..it started at a fisherman's house..

apparently i am, no i wasn't alone, we were visiting a pair of old folks near the sea..

then it started with someone saying..the water had leveled up..

the old man couldn't believe it..didn't believe it in fact.

muttered something about 'nonsense..nonsense..not in season yet..' and he went out..

Then i saw it...rolling and rolling into bigger waves, doubling the size as it approach shore..coming towards us. I couldn't hear anything besides the thundering of the waves. There was no dam, no fencing at all to be in its way. Before i knew it, i was on the run. The adrenaline rush hits in, i grabbed someones hand, and fled for higher shelter. iT WAS RIGHT BEHIND ME..

Then i always somehow manage to get to this higher spot, this time, it was a house. A house on a slope, just at the corner of a turning point. People looking out from the balcony, why weren't they running?? I lost my shoes in the run. So, without permission, i grabbed one off their shoe rack. The shoe rack seemed to be waiting for me. There was a pair of red sandals. Then i saw it crashed. The gigantic waves crashed just below the house. I could feel the dirt, disgusting mud water covering my toes. And i took off again, pulling whoever that came with me along, up hill, jut in time to look back and see another wave rolling, thundering over..bigger..that moment i was thinking that the house that i took my sandals from would be gone by this time..

running..running..running..

i actually heard a knock(probably from next door..thin walls)..and i jumped off my bed and ran towards the door. Normally muscles don't work that well when i just woke up..but this time i manage to get to my door at the same quick pace as if i wasn't sleeping..it was 5.45am this morning..and i manage to get back to sleep later.

有时

对人不太信任

交际手段不够高明

太过自以为是

就变成现在的我

当身边的朋友已经开始定下来

找到属于自己的鱼群时

发现我还是个lone ranger..

跟谁都可以。。

最近让我思考这个的来源：她问我，你在那里，跟哪国人最要好

谁都好吧

谁都可以

有机会给我固定

却给我到处绕，绕掉了

是我想要的结局

但，但，但

有时

也会希望我属于某个鱼群

。。。。

不想了

把感情，义气看得很重

最后搞得自己很累

这种蠢事，要心甘情愿去做才作得开心

一生人，寥寥几个就够了

勉强的下场---通常收尾都很难看

不是封闭我自己

而是在等另一个我甘心掏肺的知心

想说话。。

这样的感觉持续了蛮久的

还以为渐渐的会淡忘习惯

24/7全天一种语言的感觉

我应该会记到永远

想家到还不会，

只是想说“马来西亚”语

卡在中间不上不下的感觉还蛮妙的

中文？？

你确定你说的是中文？？-正版中国人

英文？？

听起来好像少了点。。糖？盐？

马来文。。省略，没人听得懂（听过）

而且，重点是

大家都跟你说日文

在马来西亚应该是太习惯一天多姿多彩的3种语言

来到这里不自觉就觉得一种很不够。。表达？？

一天里面可以就100%日文（non skype days)

too used to rojak..

有点窒息的感觉，喘不过气。。

日本

Yes, i am here.

To a whole new, well, probably "different" place might be the right word.

Same place, but different mind set.

The first lesson that I am learning: Not to take things easily. Including myself.

Really appreciate the fact that i actually got this chance to explore myself.

～自分探し

1 year, how much difference will it make, how much of the old me will it change.

I am interested in knowing the answer.

At this moment of my life, strictly speaking, yet to have a personality of my own.

Yet to get a grasp of "me".

Yet to make my visions clear.

I still do not know what i want at the moment.

With this me at this moment, i am clear of the fact that i will not be able to move much further than i am supposed to.

Naked truth.

Like what 渡辺教授said to me during the monbusho interview session, receiving this scholarship, its just a start to everything, the key. The chart he visualized to me was sky high, and i am at the bottom line. And that is when i told him my aim. But, to think of it, is that my real aim? or is it a temporary aim, just to score the scholarship. Whichever is it, I had done it, and got what i wanted in the end. But, i do not want to disappoint him. Which i am afraid i will, if i continue the way i am at the moment.

FRUSTRATION.

I have to put a stop to this whole....lost, unsure, unsecured, aimless, whatever!! status that i am at now. But, i do not know how to, besides studying hard, concentrating hard, doing everything hardcore, and end up feeling lost AGAIN. This time along with exhaustion as well. Tired and hopeless.

This was reflected through my attendance during add and drop week. At first, I attended from the 1st period right up to the last period. And today, I only attended half. Things are getting worse.

Feeling like a headless fly.

Question: What do I really want?